Amy (blue_lory) wrote,
Amy
blue_lory

Life update on Live Journal...

I keep forgetting about Live Journal...got suckered into Facebook...then addicted to Facebook. You go along for years thinking nice things about your friends and family members...then they invent online social media...and you discover People SUCK!

I grew up with a Mom and family that encouraged FAIRNESS. Mom strictly enforced fairness in the family...I was not allowed to invade my brother's space and he was not allowed to invade mine without consequences! If I was gifted with something; he was gifted with something of equal value. When she bought him a car...she gave me the cash equivalent. When dinner was served one of us got to slice the cake...the other got to choose the first piece. Mom was really good at being FAIR! We were told not to expect fairness in the real world. We were told to practice fairness toward everyone.

I was thirty something when I realized Mom was unusual.

Right now, I am dealing with some family that SEE EVERYTHING from one perspective, there own. They are not being the least bit fair. Don't care one bit that there perspective is EXTREMELY BIASED and one-sided. They don't care that they tell lies then call the person telling the truth the liar. And above all they will NOT take a look at there flawed perspective and see someone else's perspective even when ASKED nicely. If they do not LIKE what you said, then you must have some sort of illness! I made a silly mildly-negative comment on Facebook about gay people and got pounced by a lynch mob made up of friends and family. I have so many gay friends it's unbelievable. And I am so ANGRY right now that "Politically Correct" attitudes on a Controversial "Tolerance" subject are policed by a group of INTOLERANT BIGOTS! I went to my gay cousins Weddings and get LYNCHED by a bunch of people that EXPECT EVERY WORD to TOW the PARTY LINE. They barely look at my Facebook blog or "like" or "comment" on anything GOOD, HAPPY or NICE that I post. But They sit like a group of RABID LIONS WAITING for me to SAY any thing they DISLIKE and use it as an excuse to attempt to destroy me.

I have been sitting on the fence about the subject because the fence is the ONLY safe place to sit in my Family without losing people. I did not want to lose ANY of my family...not the Gay ones...not the anti-Gay ones.

They unfriended me. One of my former favorites Blocked me even though my silly mild comment was on MY blog. Then this same favorite trolls my blog after blocking me looking for something to pick a fight over. Then she sends me an incredibly ugly hurtful e-mail about another nicely-said comment on my blog. The comment was the TRUTH and had nothing to do with gay people but had to do with my feeling jealousy over her driving around in a Limo.

If I do not put on a FAKE mask of FAKE happiness over everything I write on Facebook they get angry at me. I am seeing a Therapist weekly to keep from blowing my brains out and my idiot relatives want me to FAKE my feelings in ALL FORUMS. I got the e-mail right after I left the Therapist's session. For once in my life FURY burned away EVERY TINY OUNCE of depression. I WANTED to KILL EVERY ONE OF THEM! That was new too. I went and worked out for a while to think about the situation. WHY did I FEEL THAT? Basically, I am working to improve my life and get past sadness that started with unhappy life circumstances, some deaths, and intensified with a Vitamin Deficiency and Lyme's Disease. What I have been doing...seeing the Therapist, exercising, changing the things in my life that make me sad, and starting new habits and going down new paths IS WORKING. Repeated courses of Antibiotics for several weeks got rid of the Lyme's Disease symptoms. I am starting to LOOK and FEEL like my old self...my self at Nineteen.

So WHAT is there problem? What I felt on receiving that e-mail after my Therapist session...was THESE RELATIVES ARE TRYING TO GET ME TO KILL MYSELF! I suppose they have reason. If I'm dead they are left in near complete control of the Family Business and all the Business assets. I do not think my Husband will fight them on that stuff even though I told him to. What they seem to WANT is to liquidate all assets and waste the money driving around in Limos and going Snow Skiing. That's cool if they want to do that with there part...but mine and my brother's does not go to them without major cheating on there part...mine goes to a small child. Uneasy is the country ruled by a child...How many orphaned children receive what there parents put aside for them?

That's my perspective and how I feel right now about this. Fair? Probably not!
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